What is wrong with me???
I had my epiphanous moment the other night, yet the past two days all I've wanted to do is eat my weight in peeps! There is something seriously wrong with me. I'm exhausted, presumably due to coming down from my peep high but man. This is really messed up.
I even shared my weight - my real weight -with my friend because I thought that by telling somebody it would shame me into sticking to this. It didn't work. I had basically starved my way home last night, ate meringue cookies, peeps, cottage cheese AND challah bread for dinner. What the fuck? I was so hungry, I was all about the instant gratification. I didn't even think about the scale, all I wanted to do was stop feeling like there was a hole in my stomach from being so hungry.
What am I so afraid of? I used to be so happy. I liked doing things. I enjoyed hanging with my friends. Sex was amazing because I enjoyed my body as much as his. Now.... It's all about self loathing and destructive thinking. I need help. I need someone to smack me.
Tonight, I had more meringues, 5 peeps, a bowl of progresso light clam chowder, 15 fat free saltines, and a roll. Carbaholics anonymous? You have a new candidate. Help me. Somebody. Before I od on peeps.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
You and me both! It is a vicous cycle that seems to never end. We can do this.
ReplyDeleteI feel responsible for the peep action.
ReplyDeleteQuestion...why are you starving your way home at night? I'm wondering if you're eating every couple of hours to keep the ravenous hunger at bay? I know if I get to that point, healthy thoughts fly out of my brain and I want sugar and fat. Your basic carbs. I used to eat little all day and come home and be nonstop.
Unless it's all emotional/mental, then my thoughts won't help. :\
((hug))
Naw, peeps and I have a long standing love affair. I prefer them stale, actually.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right - I am getting myself beyond the point and so I reach for the quick fixes until I feel ok. Problem with that system is I just keep eating and don't pay attention to how much. I think I need a lobotomy!!
I agree with the vicous cycle that never ends. THIS week I'm OP..last week and the 3 weeks before not so much. Can you say yo-yo dieter! UGH but we continue on...what other choice do we have! Hang in girlie...and don't feel so bad...thos Peeps are the devil ;)
ReplyDeleteMy niece used to bite the heads off of peeps and save them. LOL Not sure what this said about her; and of course, she weighs about 98 lbs soaking wet. So maybe there IS something to the 'bite the head off the peep and save it' theory... HANG IN THERE, GIRL. You can win the peeps battle. I have confidence in you.
ReplyDelete