Thursday, October 15, 2009


Today I was working my big arse off trying to get a presentation or three proofread, formatted, and published before the trip. I was in the boss's office (long gone) printing tabs because apparently every other printer in the office is fiber-deprived and wanted to eat my stock for dinner. Two coworkers were trying to coerce me to leave, but I knew I had a bunch of shit to finish before I could even consider heading towards the door (look into the light, Carol Anne).

Finally, my tabs were complete, and I copied a few files to my desktop to bring to work on at home. I realized there was still one guy in the building, and told him that I was leaving. We laughed about the boogey men hiding in the parking lot at night, and I told him that I had mad skills and that Jack the Ripper knew to stay away from me because my Vulcan death stare could knock anyone out in their tracks.

So, as I am exiting the building a car pulls into our rather large, and empty, 500-car parking lot. He pulls along the walkway, very slowly, and my heart starts racing. Oh shit. This is how it ends? This is my future Lifetime movie of the week? I gripped my keys tightly, walking very slowly and glaring at the car as it passed me. The car proceeded to the back of our parking lot, and parked. I got to my car and locked the doors as soon as I sat down. I sent a text message to my coworker telling him that the boogey man was there. I watched the car at the other end of the parking lot for a few minutes, and then driver got out of his car and went to his trunk.

Very slowly... the guy reaches into the car.... and pulls out a large object and sets it on the ground... it was shocking what happened next.

He was playing with his remote control car. What the fuck?!?! Hello, 1972 called and wants its hobby back. I couldn't believe it. I got all panicky and adrenalized for a friggin dork with a toy. Mother trucker.