What is wrong with me???
I had my epiphanous moment the other night, yet the past two days all I've wanted to do is eat my weight in peeps! There is something seriously wrong with me. I'm exhausted, presumably due to coming down from my peep high but man. This is really messed up.
I even shared my weight - my real weight -with my friend because I thought that by telling somebody it would shame me into sticking to this. It didn't work. I had basically starved my way home last night, ate meringue cookies, peeps, cottage cheese AND challah bread for dinner. What the fuck? I was so hungry, I was all about the instant gratification. I didn't even think about the scale, all I wanted to do was stop feeling like there was a hole in my stomach from being so hungry.
What am I so afraid of? I used to be so happy. I liked doing things. I enjoyed hanging with my friends. Sex was amazing because I enjoyed my body as much as his. Now.... It's all about self loathing and destructive thinking. I need help. I need someone to smack me.
Tonight, I had more meringues, 5 peeps, a bowl of progresso light clam chowder, 15 fat free saltines, and a roll. Carbaholics anonymous? You have a new candidate. Help me. Somebody. Before I od on peeps.
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