why me weekend?

first: i know i shouldn't scale-hop, yet the piece of glass and stainless sitting on my bathroom floor beckons me every morning. and i weighed myself and showed "up." i thought i had a great week, apart from a minor slip early in the week but i just started my period which always seems to mess things up for a week or so. i'm trying not to let it derail me, and plan to go to my meeting tomorrow night with my friend because we had promised each other that we would go NO MATTER WHAT. even if i feel fat? hmm... i put a lot of stock in what that scale says to me, because i am so sick of being this overweight and not seeing any positive changes.

second: after talking to a bunch of people about what happened with my stepson, a lot of emotions that i had been holding in about my own (lack of) relationship with my father seems to have driven how i reacted to the stepson's tirade of words to my husband. i understand he is pissed that he won't get an iPhone (really shouldn't be much of a surprise to him, given that he loses his phone more than normal people, racks up about 7,000 texts a month, and oh... our last name isn't TRUMP). BUT that doesn't mean that he has the right to lash out and use every single nasty thing that his mother has said to him about us. and to say that HE is more responsible than we are - when we haven't been evicted or foreclosed upon in our entire life, nor have we been fired for stealing, AND have jobs... it's clear that the boy's mind is manipulated by their thinking, and that everyone else is to blame for their problems. some day, hopefully, he will realize that personal accountability and responsibility really does make you a better person. demanding handouts from people because you feel entitled does NOT actually give you the right to get those things. oh well.

third: we are STILL waiting on the adjuster to come back and let us know what the status is of my husband's Jeep is. all signs point to a total loss, including the techs who work at the body shop, but it is still in the insurance company's hands. the impact was not at high-speed, but the entire driver's side of the vehicle is crushed in, the seats in both the front and back are ripped from the floor, windows shattered, and the frame is definitely at least bent if not destroyed. the car that hit my husband was a 1998 pick-up truck, and not a lightweight vehicle. i actually thought it was a Sherman tank, given the look of my husband's car, and the fact that they only lost their front bumper as a result of the impact. amazing that nobody was hurt - i actually think that Jeff's grandfather was watching over him that night (he's buried in a cemetery less than a mile from where the accident occurred).

so, that's what's going on in my neck of the woods... i am going to see a friend speak at a "Success Stories Live" event at Weight Watchers this afternoon. i can't wait to hear hers and others' stories! it will also keep me out of my kitchen for the afternoon, so i won't be tempted to lose control like i usually do when i see a gain and say "why bother?" and start the binge cycle. i have to stay FOCUSED on being healthy and eat the right things - i got the results of my biopsies on Friday afternoon and i am NO LONGER GROWING CANCER CELLS!! yahoo! that was the best news of the week!!! i feel very vulnerable, however, and am going to do EVERYTHING i can to eliminate the possibility of developing this again. yep, those nurses who gave me the intervention? message received, heard, acknowledged, and action plan engaged. *smooches*

something old, something new

so, i've been reading blogs for quite some time and created this one a while ago.

i'm making some serious changes in my life, so i have decided to try something new. (i'm the old part, in case you were keeping score.) i am a 39 year old woman living just outside of Boston, who is really trying to make some positive changes in her life as a result of some seriously scary health stuff (colonoscopy, several precancerous thingies removed, being told losing weight will make me a lower risk in spite of some rotten genetics).

i am going to start a journal/photojournal of my progress this year to see how much i change while trying to live a healthy lifestyle and still look good in the process. i hope i can keep up with it - the bloggers that i religiously follow are seriously awesome (Fab Finds Under $50, Bombshell Beauty, TMinus TPlus, Losing the Shadow, to name just a few).

Today, my outfit consists of gray herringbone ponte knit pants and long-sleeved black tee from Lane Bryant, purple sweater from Old Navy, and shoes by Liz Claiborne (courtesy of Auntie).

i started back at Weight Watchers on Monday, January 24th and to date have lost 2.4 pounds. considering i wasn't 100% on board the first couple of weeks, it's not a horrible start. i had a lot going on, and was not mentally ready to get serious about it. i'm still waiting to get the results of my most recent biopsies, and that is freaking me out a bit at the moment but i will get through it.

what doesn't kill me WILL make me stronger.