Monday, August 11, 2014

who better than me?

Self Care is Everything. Here are five things that I am going to do this week for ME.

Because without ME, I am nothing.

So, this weekend I started the focus on ME. I had already scheduled an appointment with my new favorite tattoo artist, Hector, and I knew that the plumbers were going to be showing up to replace my air conditioning so my house can be decommissioned as a sauna. Seriously... HAIR HELL. Since June, we have gone without air conditioning and I have walked around the world looking like Rosanne Adan-Adanna. It's humiliating! But, I digress.

I didn't care that the hubs "might" have to work. I always seem to put my life on hold to accommodate his schedule, so I decided FUCK IT. I am going to proceed with my own plan, and if he could be home with the contractors, GREAT. If not, that is great too. I could leave them at my house alone. I am already paying them bank to do to the work, they don't need to steal anything in the process. Not that I have anything worth stealing.

Took the dogs to school for the day, and I went and spent SEVEN HOURS with Hector. We are not finished with the project, so I am not going to post any pictures yet. I am really pink today and it's kind of awkward to take a selfie of your bicep. BUT, I love it. I did what *I* wanted to do, and am very happy with the result so far. Sunflowers - YAY! More to come...

So, today, what I am doing for ME is WRITING. Writing makes me happy. Writing makes me free. Writing makes me escape everything else and just type. Seriously - I talk a lot so you can only expect that I would WRITE A LOT, too. People have told me that I write like I talk... hopefully not as annoying as my Fran Drescher-ish voice, but who knows? Who cares? I am doing what I love. My plumber is back today and they are still working on the project that will never end, and I am sitting at my computer writing. The rest of the world can suck it. I took the day off, and once these guys leave I am going to do what *I* want.

I am also going back to my mat this week. I guess that is numero TRES on the five things list. I really have been remiss in practicing my yoga and my stress level and general energy has suffered as a result. I definitely can tell when I am not practicing because things really do get to me, and I am not as conscious of my breathing. I know breathing is necessary to LIVE and all that, but when I am overwhelmed I tend to holdmybreathtilliwanttopassout. Whew! Yeah, it really is like that. I am one of those people that yoga was invented for. No, I am not Gumby. I am still fat, and I still can't do some basic postures because my body gets in the way but Anna Guest-Jelley has created an amazing yoga practice for curvy women and I love to follow her videos. If you haven't checked her out, I strongly encourage you to find CurvyYoga. You will not be disappointed.

Next on my ME bucket list is my closet. What?!??! WORK?!?!? Yeah. It has been a longstanding issue with me. My closet is overstuffed, disorganized, and causes me stress every freaking day. I have shit in there that has been around since before I was married that STILL.HAS.TAGS.ON. Anyone else like that? You go shopping, you see something cute(ish) on sale, and you buy it regardless if it fits or not. It's cute. It's on sale. It will work, right? NOPE. Not ever. Not even a bit. I started the PURGE yesterday, but it was hotter than Hades upstairs, so I postponed the effort. I was soaking with sweat, and the dogs were pissed off with all of the noise and screaming from above. I might have screamed a few times when I was what I was holding on to. Seriously... four moves and I didn't get rid of some of this crap? Holy wishful thinking, Batman. If it didn't work 30 pounds ago, it is never going to work. Those people at the Salvation Army will be happy when they see things with tags on.

The LAST THING on my bucket list is a tough one. I am already in process of doing this, but it still is just hanging there, looming over my head. I am going to lose weight. I have to. I have already looked asscancer in the eye a few times, and I really need to take control of my health as much as I possibly can. No more Wylie Coyote falling from the cliff and flailing to save myself just inches from the ground. I have to do something NOW. This is the ultimate gift to myself.

Like I said, without me, I am nothing. If I am dead, I am really not going to be having much fun and I won't be able to enjoy this $16,000 new heating, air conditioning, and hot water heater I just bought my family, now will I? It's like that now. I cut out gluten, reduced my dairy significantly (I refuse to give up my cream in my coffee - coconut milk just tastes like ass no matter how you try to get me to like it), and am cutting back on the sugar. Gluten and dairy seem to be my biggest enemies. When I eat bread or crackers, I get really sick. When I consume dairy... well, it just makes me crave ice cream. And this body did not just come into its own. It was created by my lovers, Ben and Jerry. They were lousy lovers because they always left me feeling bad about myself after a pint of sweet and creamy bliss. I am leaving you guys for good. I need to.

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