Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Dear 32 year old me...

Psst... Kristin... that guy you are with? He does not love you. He has never loved you. When he says he loves you, he is only telling you he loves having SEX WITH YOU. He never spends the night, he never has introduced you to any of his friends, and only takes you to places near where you live.


He lied to you when he said that he was separated from his wife.
He left you crying and writhing in pain when you broke your ankle. To go to his WIFE.
He lied to you when he said you were the only one for him.
He never once spent a holiday with you, and he is the reason you hate your birthday.
He lied to you when he said he bought you a ring.
He cried poor mouth, but somehow bought himself some really nice things. WITH HIS WIFE'S MONEY.
He lied to you when he begged you not to move 40 miles away.
And then bought a house WITH HIS WIFE A WEEK LATER.

He is a liar. Your life is going to be so much happier without his emotional cancer in your life. He does not make you feel good about yourself. He makes you want to curl up and hide in shame, when you should be out there CELEBRATING the awesomeness that is you. You are depriving the world of who you are by allowing him to have so much power over the way you feel about yourself.

It may take a while to ease the hurt of feeling betrayed, but you are going to be so happy when you open your eyes and see what is around you. Do not judge people by their appearances, do not allow the "I can'ts" get in your way. Step outside, take a deep breath, and follow your heart.

You are awesome. You are smart. You are funny. You deserve to go far. The company you work for? Yeah, they aren't going to be around for much longer. Trust your instincts when you start to feel like things are going South fast. But, don't leave just yet. You have a very important person to meet before you find another job. The one you have been waiting your entire life for, but had no idea what it was that you needed. You will realize that the kindness in one person's eyes is sincere, he has no ulterior motives, and he is going to change your world. You will find your soul mate, but it is not who you expect, so keep kissing those frogs. You will realize when you have gone on your last first date, you will KNOW that night that this is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your days with.

You will thank me for this in ten years.

Truly yours, with unconditional love now and forever,

The 42 Year Old You.

PS - please do not throw away that gorgeous black chenille sofa. It is awesome, and someone is going to tell you to toss it. Don't because you will regret it for years to come.

1 comment:

  1. I love this! So much pain, but so much beauty came out of it. Thank you for being strong and brave and sharing this.